


The Butterfly Dream

by Teddy_Feathers



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: All At Once, Alternate Universe - Swapfell, Alternate Universe - Underfell, Alternate Universe - Underswap, Multiple Universes, Original Character(s), POV First Person, POV Original Character, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route, flee from the things you hate
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-30
Updated: 2017-01-14
Packaged: 2018-09-13 12:57:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9124750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teddy_Feathers/pseuds/Teddy_Feathers
Summary: Murphy Arden Dawe is like any other sixteen year old girl - she doesn't know who she is.None of her do.But between making friends with skeletons and parallel universes colliding she's about to get really well acquainted with herself.





	1. I dreamt I was another me (underswap)

**Author's Note:**

> Why am I doing it this way? I dunno. But I am.
> 
> Every chapter except the prologue bits I'm posting right now will be titled with the universe (Alpha - being the normal undertale verse - underfell, underswap, and fellswap) and the chapter number. I suppose you could ignore time lines you're not interested in, or personalities you're not. Or maybe read through one timeline at a time. 
> 
> What interests me about the whole parallel universe thing is how... you're you but who you are isn't a static thing at all. I dunno. 
> 
> Anywho I suck at first person but I do read at least three authors who pull it off so well that I can't help but want to write things in it.

Ive always been a lucid dreamer.

I'm still me enough to realize that I'm not quite - an observer in my own head even when I'm awake. Seeing things through other perspectives makes me wonder, think about who I could have been if I'd made different choices.

I'd still recognize myself though and dreaming of this other me always makes me sad on some level. I wish I could help them be the best version of themselves that they could be.

Which wouldn't necessarily be me!

 

I mean even if this other self is technically me well they are still their own person right? They made different choices and that really shaped them differently and -

I'm getting ahead of myself.

Sorry, I tend to talk too much and say too little you know? But don't worry I'll try to keep things simple and easy okay?

 

So. My name is Murphy Arden Dawe and I'm a sweet sixteen - or well I try really hard to be. After all pretending confidence is having confidence right?

But enough about me! We have plenty of time to get to know about me - all of mes really - and I'm positive you'll be so totally over it by the end of it all.

 

What we were talking about - what you're really interested in - is dreams and alternate realities and magic and skeletons and -

 

I'm getting ahead of myself again, huh?

 

The starting point is dreaming.

Not just any dream though.

I dreamt of the alpha timeline - though to me it was just another me, in another place and I... She was lonely.

 

Where I passively observe on the inside and chatter on the outside, this other me wasn't all that good at making friends.

But in my dream she met a skeleton. He was as quiet and distant in his own way as she was and she... I felt something.

 

We - they - decided to be friends.

 

And when I woke up I felt like something good was going to happen, something different.

 

I can't wait - can you?


	2. Another me dreamt of I (Alpha / undertale)

I don't know where to start really.

I'm not one of those teenagers who thinks that because I'm a shy loner girl something magical is going to happen and suddenly I'll be the bell of the ball.

... Well not really anyways.

 

I do like alone time. People are just kind of... Hard to get along with you know? But I wouldn't mind if someone saw something special in me - something worth liking.

 

I uh... Just didn't expect that someone to be me you know?

 

It all started with a dream. Well a nightmare really.

Silly, but if its mundane and about me or people I know its a nightmare. If its outlandish - no matter how terrifying - its just a dream. I guess that's because the only ones I forget I'm asleep in, are the ones where I'm dreaming about me.

This was different though...

 

I wasn't processing subconscious fears or worries. This was me but different.

 

I was angry. Bratty. Not afraid to show it... Or well... I was but this other me? She didn't let that stop her.

Someone got up in her face and she just dealt with it. Didn't crumble on the outside like I do on the inside.

 

I really admire her for that, even before I knew she was more than just some wish fulfillment my mind created.

This version of me handled everything life threw at her by being meaner on some level than what life tossed at her.

 

Apparently red timelines are like that though. Everyone there is a bit rougher around the edges.

 

I think when I woke up I decided I wanted to be like that though. More self confident.

I'd need to be if I was going to have any chance of making friends with the skeletons that I met the next day.

 

If I couldn't believe in myself I was hardly going to convince them to believe in me after all.


	3. When we woke... despite everything... I was still me (Underfell)

Its probably no accident my initials spell out MAD right?

I mean -I'm angry at everything, including myself.

Well.

I'm mad at me too but this nonsense all started because I woke up just beyond pissed at dream me.

 

Dream me - swapfell me  whatever - gives up on everything including herself.

Well fuck that.

 

I was determined not to let her pull that victim crap. I do it a lot - hell every teen does right? Or at least all versions of me seem to - but that doesn't mean you give up!

Fight fire with fire! An eye for an eye! When life gives you lemons you burn the hell out of life with citric acid! Something, anything, is better than staying down even if you know you're out classed!

 

... Well okay I talk a better game than I really feel but I'm a teenager taking advantage of the fact people expect me to act out you know? I can get away with behaving like a little shit so no one knows that I feel like shit.

I'm not the only one though! Hell even monsters do it and I heard that they can live forever.

 

So anyways I woke up in tears because some AU version of me was being a wuss ... Which made me more bitchy than normal.

Which of course meant I skipped school... Which got me into a whole lot of trouble I never expected.

 

Honestly you know how people tell you that your choices are going to effect you for the rest of your life and you're going to have to live with the consequences?

The whole knowing about different people who are all sort of me really bring that into perspective.

 

I mean.

We're all me right?

And we all ran into the same monsters more or less around the same point in our lives but...I dont think I could really be happy and still be well me if I had done things any differently.

Yes I know the other versions all get their own happily ever afters or whatever but... It just wouldn't be the same.

 

I think the most important thing about getting to know all the different parts of ourselves is that... We all kinda get the picture that... As much as l could probably handle swapfell MAD girl's life better than she can...

We're all really ourselves and its... Nice to know that no matter what happens that remains constant.

 

Cause let me tell you our lives got a bit crazy for a bit after that first dream.


	4. Who am i really though? (swapfell)

Dreams aren't real.

 

Theyre not.

 

Just... Sparks in the neurons processing oddly as you sleep... Any moron can tell you that.

 

I didnt believe the dream I had was anything more than that - except perhaps my bitter mind taunting me with the idea that I could be a better nicer friendlier person if I just tried.

Why bother though?

 

It was too much effort to keep up a constant facade of something I didn't really feel, to keep around people I didn't especially want to keep around.

I had enough on my plate as it was.

I didn't need people getting involved and complicating things more thank you very much.

 

Too bad life, the universe, and everything seemed to want to drag me kicking and screaming into a social life regardless of whether I could handle on or not.

 

Stupid skeletons.

 

Its their own damn fault if I fuck all this up.

I didn't want to be in their lives, I didn't want to be given the power to ruin their happiness... Or let them ruin what little I'd managed to carve for myself.

 

I'm not like that me from the cotton candy timeline. I'm NOTHING like them. They deserve to be happy.

 

I just... Self destruct.

 

I don't want to take anyone with me... But you try reasoning with monsters.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ends the prologue.


	5. Underswap Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't particularly think anyone will like any of this, but I'm having fun. 
> 
> For reference - All Papyrus's are 16 like Murphy is, and all Sans's are 18. This should be addressed at some point but just so there's no confusion in these chapters. 
> 
> Oh. I'm not terribly great at character interpretation so if they seem widely ooc well that's both because I'm not doing a great job at portraying them here and because my interpretation of them is flawed.

I wake buzzing with energy for the day.

I'm not a morning person at all - I tend to sleep in till the last minute and get ready in a flurry of activity - but good dreams and a really good feeling about today has me bright eyed bushy tailed and ready to _go_ you know?

Besides it’s not as though I hate mornings - once you’re actually awake it’s kind of nice. I had way more time to get ready, and when I was done I got to read a bit – it was like my reward for less sleep is more free time!

I live in a foster home with three other kids - so being up first also means I got first dibs on the bathroom which almost never happens.

“Woa Murph, you’re certainly chipper this morning!”  

I nod as I help set the table for breakfast. Mr. Kessler never joins us – in fact he’s putting jam on his toast, as he strides around the kitchen collecting his things to go to work – but I actually get to see him before he goes. I guess that’s another benefit for getting up early!

“I'm going to make a new friend today!” I say eagerly.  Maybe a little _too_ eagerly. He pauses in his morning scramble long enough to level one of _those_ looks at me.

“Oh really? And who might that be?” Mr. Kessler asks casually. A little too casually seeing as the younger kids are already starting to slip into the kitchen to grab their choice of cereals. He’s going to be late interrogating me, but then again he thinks it’s a boy.   

“I don’t know, but it really feels like a good day to make a new friend.” He looks baffled for a moment and then gives a chuckle, before finishing off his toast and grabbing his keys.

“Well I hope you have a good day then sweetheart.” He says as he’s heading for the door. “You all behave for Jeana today okay kids?” He adds like he does every morning.

There’s a course of ‘okays’ and the door snicks shut behind him.

“Oooooo Murphy likes a booooy.” Sings out Kyle, because of course he does. At least he waited until _after_ Mr. Kessler left for the day to start, I think snagging the box of fruit loops for myself. Mrs. Kessler is no doubt working on her own morning routine of hair and makeup, leaving us all to fend for ourselves for breakfast. Seeing as the youngest of the four of us is ten it’s no big deal really unless someone wants to act up.

Usually I’m still sleeping so I miss out on the morning drama. As Carla flicks Kyle on the back of the head, I decide that’s a definite bonus of _not_ getting up early.

“Maybe Murphy likes a girl, you don’t know!” The scrawny thirteen year old argues. The scruffy haired fourteen year old rubs the back of his head and glares back at her.

As the eldest I probably should do something to stop the impending fight… but man when was the last time I ate fruit loops? These things are amazing.

“You like girls!” Kyle shouts back at her. Instead of things escalating though, the younger girl just shrugs and pours the milk in her bowel.

“Everyone should like girls. Girls are cuter.” This blasé attitude shocks the boy into silence and he spends the rest of breakfast munching on his cereal and shooting Carla incredulous looks.

It isn’t long before Mrs. Kessler bustles into the room with a sleepy ten year old trailing in after her. The kid is new and a bit shy, it’s been a couple of months now but they still stay pretty close to our foster mom, clinging to her purse strap as if she’ll vanish if they let go.

It’s understandable, all things considering. It’s not easy being in the system, and it’s not every family you end up with do you luck out having nice and reliable adults around either. The kid doesn’t seem to trust us yet either, always watching but not wanting to interact.

Carla’s determined to win them over though. Even now she hops up from the table to grab their bowl and tries to cajole them into picking one of the various boxes of cereal.

Finished eating myself, I grab the dishes from the table and start rinsing them before putting them in the dish washer.

“Oh you’re up already dear?” Mrs. Kessler looks over the rims of her glasses at me, a move guaranteed to get any guilty child to confess. Honestly makes me wish I had glasses, I mean how cool would it be to master that look? “Something special happening at school today?”

“No mam. Well I mean not that I know of, I guess there could be but it’d be a surprise to me really and –” Look I know rambling makes me sound like I’m up to something, but she just smiles at me and goes back to fixing her coffee in her travel mug as she listens to me go on.

I was a lot quieter when I first moved in like the new kid, but now it’s pretty much a guarantee that as long as I’m talking everything’s fine.

Kyle – the little trouble maker – just _has_ to try and stir the pot though. “Murphy’s gotta hot date in the class room.” Carla, from where she’s fixing the bowel of coco puffs rolls her eyes but doesn’t bother to get involved this time.

Today’s choice of lipstick is a browny-red, and I can’t help but focus on that when Mrs. Kessler’s mouth goes into a perfect O shape before she collects herself. “Is that true dear?”

“Why…” The kitchen freezes as a hesitant voice pipes up. I can _feel_ us all move as one to stare at the new kid. We can’t help it really, them talking is such a rare occurrence. They actually talk plenty, their case worker assured the Kesslers, we just have to earn their trust first. “Why would Murphy be looking for a significant other… when she doesn’t even have any _real_ friends.”

Its soft - and it’s kind of a mean thing to say – but the kid talked! About me! And they even pay attention enough to notice I don’t ever bring anyone around the house, or go out to visit anyone!

Suddenly everyone’s in motion. Kyle snorts up his juice spluttering it all over the table and I go get a towel to clean it up. Carla’s practically smothering the kid in a hug. Mrs. Kessler’s lips are pursed in that way that means she doesn’t know if she should be pleased or upset. “That’s not a very nice thing to say.”

I laugh. “That’s okay – I mean it’s true.” I drop the towel in the sink and give my brightest smile. “Which is why I’m so excited for today! Today seems like a wonderful day to make a new friend doesn’t it?”

“I suppose so and speaking of which – I think it’s about time we all got packed and ready to go.” In a flurry books and jackets and yelling, somehow we all manage to get out the door with plenty of time to spare, as we do every morning.

The other kids are still in middle school and Mrs. Kessler drives them there on the way to work. As the sole high school student – until next year as Carla reminds me almost every day – I get to take the bus by myself.

 

My bus buddy is sick or missed it I guess, which I’ve almost done a time or two but hey! That’s _another_ good thing about being up and ready early!

Man today is just full of good things, it’s _got_ to be a sign right? Even if I don’t run into some magical skeleton there’s just no way I’m ending today without a proper friend!

Without my bus buddy – just a girl that sits next to me and we chat about what’s on the agenda for the day – gone I’m pretty alone on the ride to school, I don’t even really know the other kids on the bus. I mean I listen and know things about them, but we don’t actually talk.

But opportunity strikes!

The two guys sitting catty corner from my usual seat are reading a thing and I love to read! So I ask them about it and they even let me borrow the first comic book - excuse me manga. They give me strange looks, probably because they were originally just giggling over the boobs on Mr. Centipede, but I get sucked into the story immediately.

Even before the homeroom bell rings I know I'm going to _love_ Inuyasha. I mean, a main character that’s _first_ instinct is to pet the ears of the fox demon boy?

So relatable.

 

The manga managed to distract me but after the bell rings it happens.

The very thing I dreamed would!

A skeleton walks in my life.

 

Well the classroom – but that still totally counts.

It’s not the short one from my dream though. 

The teacher introduces him as Papyrus Skeleton – monsters don't actually have last names – and for once the class isn’t whispering or ignoring the teacher. Instead we're all just kind of staring at him.

He's tall – tall enough to play on the basketball team – wearing a hoodie and some of those long guy jean shorts. The kind that goes to the knees and probably started out as full length pants.

We really can’t help but stare though, and it’s not because his clothes are wrinkled like he slept in them.

I mean it’s rude to stare at monsters and we have several in our school – more than Asian kids now that I think about it – but this one is a literal skeleton. It’s not just his face – which is mobile and expressive and not much like a skull at all – but his legs.

His naked leg bones you know?

It’s just so weird.

And when he shrugs and waves at us, his fingers are like super long. I didn’t realize they started in the middle of your palm really.

He's sent to an empty seat and the teacher starts their usual home room droning and all of us go back to not paying attention.

I spent most of my morning classes torn between reading my borrowed manga and watching everyone interact with the new kid.

Other than the typical monster related questions he _is_ basically treated like any other new kid. It takes a while for that intruder vibe to wear off for transfer students.

Papyrus doesn’t seem to mind though. He’s very... I don’t know, laid back?

Like he smiles and answers questions but he doesn’t really seem to care too much if people engage with him or not. He doesn’t immediately click with anyone or gravitate towards a group that’s like him.

In fact by third period he seems pretty content to be a loner and speak only when spoken too. Which is fine except...

This is high school.

I mean part of the point is the whole making friends / socialization thing right?

 

The lunch bell rings and over half the class is gone before it stops, per usual.

I linger behind waiting on Papyrus and he seems to realize, because after he's finished packing up his things he stops by me instead of following the rest of the class out the door.

Smiling widely I stick out my hand and introduce myself. "I'm Murphy Arden Dawe." Look it rolls off the tongue way better than stuttering Murphy Dawe would, trust me on this. "Made any friends yet?"

Yes I know blunt and nosy but that’s kinda just who I am, might as well make it work for me. I just hope I come across cute and friendly instead of rude and annoying.

"nope." he pops the p and shakes my hand carefully. Not like he’s worried but more like he doesn’t know what to make of me.

"If you want I can be your friend until you find someone better." I lead the way to the lunch room - not that there’s any doubt where it is with the line of people trailing out the doors.

He follows along beside me, which was a good sign right? "maybe i’m a little ignorant of human culture but that’s a bit self-deprecating, don’t you think?"

I shrug and give him another bright smile. "not really. i mean it just takes a while for people to get settled in to their clique and its awkward the first little while sitting alone or with people you don’t know." Besides it wouldn’t be the first time I’d made a friend only to have them ditch me at the earliest opportunity.  

I won’t be disappointed at all when he moves on though- at least that's what I tell myself - after all if you like people then seeing them happy is all you really need, right? And besides, getting to know someone is the fun part.

"suppose." He has a funny crooked smile on his face that makes me feel like he’s teasing me even though he hasn’t said much yet.

Maybe he’s shy? I could talk enough for the both of us of I try hard enough, but I want to get to know him.

"You’re in luck you transferred on a Friday; we get chicken fingers for lunch! The rest of the lunches are kinda bland but everyone loves chicken fingers. Did your last school have mystery meat? You always hear about mystery meat and gross cafeteria food in schools but I’ve never met anyone who actually had any have you?"

"never actually been to school before, my bro home schooled me, but humans have different rules about that." For a moment he seems content to leave it, looking around the lunch hall since we'd finally made it through the doors but then he looks back down at me, frowning slightly. "Chicken’s don’t actually have fingers do they?"

"Well they've got like clawed toes but I don’t think anyone eats that bit – this is just strips of meat like fried with batter or something."

"ah. kay."

"So is it just you and your brother then?"

"yeah.” His face lights up when he talks about his brother. “he practically raised me, works a buncha jobs to support us and all. He’s pretty awesome. you humans have rules about that sort of thing too but he got that straightened out after a bit."

I open and close my mouth.

I don’t know what to say about that. We did have a lot of rules about a lot of things, I mean I had been in the foster system most of my life so I knew that better than a lot of kids my age... But I didn’t realize it had been such a problem for the monsters integrating in our society.

We stand in silence waiting for the line to go down, and other than explaining the rules of how there were two different choices for each section I stay pretty quiet.

I mean.

He could have lost his family and been tossed into the system. He _was_ tossed into public school despite his family’s wishes. Nothing I can say would make that better. And he’s so quiet...

Maybe he’s mad at humanity? Who could blame him?

 

When we finally exit the line we’re intercepted by Marshall - one of the guys in our class.

"Yo dude, papyrus right? You wanna sit with us man?" Papyrus shrugs and follows amiably. "You play any sports?"

I go and sit at my usual table. A hodge-podge of people sit there, and I usually managed to keep up with the three conversations going on at once but... I’m really not in the mood you know?

It’s not a big deal but I can’t help but feel a little rejected. Maybe I talked too much, or was too nosy, or something.

Then again I had said I’d be his friend until he found someone better…

I just didn’t expect it to happen that fast.

I end up finishing the manga I had borrowed this morning and then ditching the cafeteria to go get more from the library.

 

I spent the next couple of classes with my nose in the books, not really paying attention to anyone around me until I hear the comment "who shut up motor-mouth-Murphy?"

We were supposed to be working on some math worksheet alone or in groups, but I hated math and anyways it always ends up being assigned as homework if you’re not finished. So it’s not unusual for me to be reading, or people to be talking.

Blinking, I jerk my head up and look at the speaker. "I dunno man, I didn’t think she had an off switch."

I don’t know if they meant me to hear or not. I didn’t realize that I had a reputation… Was I really that much of a bother?

I would have shut up if someone had just asked.

I get a pass and manage to spend the rest of that class in the restroom, only coming out when the end of day bell rang.

 

The room is empty when I come back to grab my stuff.

What had started as a decent day was shaping up to end a pretty bad one.

Tomorrow I’ll get up and start again peppy and all but it’s hard to muster up the energy right now.

 

Knowing you’re a bit much sometimes and seeing and hearing it... Are two very different things.

 

But…

Even if I don’t make friends with the new skeleton kid, I do know plenty of people at school, and maybe I can tell them all about Inuyasha, which I'm sure some of them will like, or if they don’t at least those two guys on the bus are already into it and -

A tap on my shoulder interrupts my self-pep talk.

"so what’s fun to do around here on the weekends? looking for something to do with my brother to celebrate our move you know?"

Papyrus?

The skeleton is slouching casually next to me in the bus lot, hands in his hoodie, and what looks like a tootsie pop in his mouth.

Maybe he just forgot to ask anyone else… but I can’t help feeling a little excited since he _did_ bother to ask _me,_ you know?

"Oh well there’s a mall down town of course, and a cinema not far from there, and we've got a roller rink, and a huge arcade not too far from there, oh and there’s all sorts of parks allover -” Sure I’m rambling again, but this time I’m _really_ watching him as I talk.

He doesn’t seem to be annoyed at all; in fact the little crooked smile is back.


	6. Alpha Chapter 1

I wake up to banging on my door as usual. My dad’s up which means the world has to be.

I move through the morning routine like molasses in revenge which irritates him to no end but after choking on my cereal because I stupidly swallowed wrong, I managed to accidentally convince him I was sick and he went off to work without taking me to school.

Score.

I mean. He'll still expect my chores done and something to be set out for dinner – and heaven forbid my skipping effect my grades – but I am the master of cramming everything into the last minute so I basically have a free day to do whatever I want.

And what do I want to do more than anything right now?

To get out of the house honestly. I'm practically always either here or at mom’s place when not at school and it gets a bit... Claustrophobic I guess.

It’s not that the divorce was bad or anything - in fact they get along better now that they don’t live together - it’s just weird being home alone, especially when I don’t have any reason to go out much.

Since I'm skipping school and my dad’s not going to be home until five at the earliest though... I lock up and head out to the local thrift store. It should be just opening and there’s always so much cool and interesting stuff there you know?

Yeah okay maybe not the _most_ interesting place to be for a kid my age but it’s within walking distance from the house - and if I go to the library my dad will know I was out because of the stack of new books I'm reading.

Besides I do find the thrift store neat. Always something new and they don’t care if I hang for a couple of hours.

...yeah you can tell I don’t have much of a social life huh?

Which makes the dream I had last night all the weirder.  Even if I did meet a monster I highly doubt I'd start hanging with them you know? I'm not exactly interesting.

 

But. It had been kinda fun. The idea that I'd make a friend.

 

As I tried to remember the better parts of my dream I slammed into someone, causing us both to stumble and them to fall sprawling onto the sidewalk.

"Oh I am so sorry, I wasn’t paying any attention are you all right? Here let me help you up!" I hover anxiously. I can’t believe I wasn’t looking where I was going, I can practically hear my dad go off on one of his lectures on situational awareness.

The person gets up, brushing themselves off before turning to face me. "No skin off my nose kid."

I'm face to face with a monster.

I mean I've met monsters before - a couple even go to my school - but this one’s a _skeleton_. I stare at him unblinking for a second before his words catch up to me and I start laughing.

"I am so sorry," my face is turning red because I am being so rude _right_ after I ran into him too "but, but it’s just, heh, you don’t _have_ a nose. Oh god, I am so _so_ sorry."

The grin never leaves his face and he chuckles. "eh takes more than laughter to rattle my bones, most things just go right through me tibia honest."

I can’t stop laughing because at first it was just my terrible sense of humor, but now I'm sure he’s doing it on purpose. "Oh no." I choke out. "That’s just _terrible_."

"nah, its punderful. the names sans, sans the skeleton."

I try to collect myself, but I can’t help the stupid grin on my face as I say, "I'm Murphy, Murphy the human."

We shake and even though his boney hands feel really weird, he gives a good hand shake like my dad always taught me to, and I’ve already decided I liked him.

He seems like good people you know?

"whelp, got errands to run so I'll be seeing you kid." He turns and heads off down the side walk and well... That’s the end of it right? I mean from something so stupid came something good and honestly that’s the most I can ask out of a day.

 

Cutting through the park where moms with kids too young to be at school are playing, I head over to the thrift store.

It smells musty when you walk in the door, but not in a bad way... More like a used bookstore. It’s a smell that makes me think of history and magic - not the real stuff that the monsters had brought with them, but the stage stuff that’s still amazing even after you know how the trick is done.

I wander through the shop, seeing familiar items that will probably always be there, and new stuff that they’ve just brought up from the back.

It’s ten in the morning on a Friday, so of course it’s pretty empty – of people, its overly cluttered with stuff – and I waste more time than I probably should searching through the clothes looking for vintage band t-shirts. Sure I could go to Walmart and get reprints and all, but how cool would it be to find an actually tour shirt or something?

I don’t pay much attention to the few other people who do wander in and out. There’s plenty to keep my attention. After the clothes I look through the books like I have a million times already because you never know when a really good one will turn up in the middle of all the religious texts, out dated help manuals, and random titles I bet bore even the authors.

Then on to the center of the store where all the real interesting stuff is – furniture and house goods, decorations and knickknacks… It’s fun figuring out the sort of people who had the stuff before and how different the people who buy it are.

I loose myself in the store the way you lose yourself in a really good story. So of course I’m not paying attention to my surroundings again and the inevitable happens.

This time I trip over someone’s basket.

They say you grow out of being a klutz, but if I turn out anything like my mother then they lie.

For the second time today I’m apologizing like crazy, scooping things up into the hand basket and wishing I could just melt away… When I finally get it all back in there and look up, I find myself staring into a familiar pair of eye sockets.

He pauses in the middle of telling me its fine, to go "you again? you following me kid?" and there’s just something creepy about him staring at me that there hadn’t been before that I find myself growing less embarrassed and more anxious.

I mean I _hadn’t_ been but as far as he knows I could have, and what if he thought I was some sort of stalker or something?

I try to play it off my internal panic, because regardless I’ve messed up this guy’s day twice now. "Well you know what they say first times an accident, second times a coincidence, third times-"

"-a conspiracy yeah." whatever it is about his expression changes and he offers me a hand up. "So what brings you out to the thrift store? Doesn’t seem like a place kids like to hang."

I want to protest being called a kid – I mean I’m sixteen – but he’s a monster and who knows how they age.

I let him pull me to my feet and shrug. "It’s not really?" The ridge above his sockets shifts like he’s lifting nonexistent eyebrows at me and I back pedal. "Well I mean _I_ like to come here, but people usually don’t, I mean not that there’s anything wrong with the thrift store it’s just -"

"woa breathe, you humans need to do that right?" I flush because I’m being stupid and nod.

"There’s just cool things here." I finish lamely.

Trying to shift the topic I ask "So um what are you here looking for Mr. Sans?" I was raised to call adults Mr. and Ms. last name but... No way am I calling him Mr. Skeleton. I know monsters don’t have last names and so just go by their species but that just sounds really stupid and childish.

"Just picking up some stuff for the house." He says picking up his basket.

I shift awkwardly. Small talk isn’t really my thing, but it’s only polite and there’s some part of me that wants to prove something to him. What I don’t know. "Oh did you just move into town?"

"Yeah, seemed easier to pick up new stuff than deal with the hassle of packing all the old stuff." Everything’s so serious, not like the first time I ran into him.

"Are there not monster movers?" I ask, more to keep the conversation going than out of real curiosity. I _don’t_ hate monsters, and I really didn’t want Sans to hate me.  

Narrowing his sockets he stops his perusal of the shelves. "What?"

A flash of my dream in the forefront of my mind, I try my best to explain even though I just _know_ at this point I’m annoying him. "Oh well dad was in the military so we moved a lot, and when we did we’d hire movers to pack us up and take our stuff to the new house."

"We've got nothing like that - didn’t really have a need underground. Wasn’t that far to move around." He shrugs and his tone tells me that the conversation is over.

No I feel really stupid because of course they only recently got out. Instead of apologizing I just stammer out an awkward goodbye and leave the store.

Yeah who was I kidding – dream or no, I was not cut out for making friends with the skeleton. There’s just a lot of bad history between humans and monsters. We all mostly try to ignore it, but it’s there right?

 

It’s about lunch time so I wander downtown for lunch. It’s a bit of a walk to McDonalds but I’m used to that.

I get a large fries and four of the little things of ketchup, pull my current book out of my back pocket, and kill some time in my usual booth. I think they know me there because no one ever bothers me or gets mad that I spend way too long there pretty frequently.  

My dad is of the mindset that I should have friends, and my mom worries because I’m not that social. So I just kinda tell them I have friends from school, and that we study at the local McDonalds or the library or whatever. They’re happy and I get out of the house for a couple of hours every week.

Everyone wins.

Speaking of winning – I’m just winning the crazy random happenstance lottery today

When I take a break from reading took check up on my surroundings, there’s Sans ordering. I dump my tray and sneak out the door in the back, and hop the play place fence.

That’s it. Time to go home before he thinks I’m stalking him.

 

Schools out by the time I hit my neighborhood. Bus passes by and I’m not the only person around my age walking around anymore. I guess I have plenty of time to do some chores or study or something. Dad won’t be coming home for another hour or two. 

Instead of heading straight inside, I stop in the drive and look at the decorative rocks in the front. Weeds are starting to poke through and if I get it done now I won’t have to worry about anything but mowing this weekend.

I’ve had my fun, only fair to get some responsible stuff done too right?

So I grab my gloves and a Walmart bag and start pulling, and then spray some weed killer down for good measure. I’m blasting music as I work, but even over that I can hear yelling.

Unfamiliar yelling in suburbia?

I drop my headphones to my shoulders and look up to see a familiar figure across the street.

The yelling is from another skeleton –a tall one in shorts and a tank – chasing a small white dog that somehow is managing to play keep away with a plain clear school backpack.

Eventually he manages to ‘prove victorious’ and retrieve his bag, but during his loud gloating – I can hear him word for word from here – I can see the moment Sans spots me.

His sockets are dark and empty – it might be a trick of the light or distance or something but I can’t look away. This really _does_ look like a conspiracy, but I swear I didn’t know he lived across from my dad. The look on his face says he won’t believe that.

 

I am never skipping school ever again.


	7. Underfell Chapter 1

Have you ever just... Woke up angry?

To be fair I'm always pretty damn angry. Mom says it’s just a phase and I'll grow out of it when my hormones level out or some such. Dad just wants me to walk it off or get over it, crap like that.

But I'm worse off today when I wake up, near tears because I feel so impotent – like I'm not allowed to be angry or act out, like I’ve got to be happy and polite and good, and not be such a fuck up and... It’s just too much to wake up feeling.

So I got angry instead.

My folks mistook my moody silence for sleepiness - I'm never at my best in the morning. They wish me a good day and drop me off at school and I go obediently to home room.

But after that? I’m out of that hell hole.

This isn’t my first time doing skipping. Hell I’ve been out of class more than in them this year. I know I'm barely coasting but it’s hard to give a fuck... I don’t know why I'm like this honestly. If my parents were abusive or neglectful or just plain awful I’d have an excuse...

But thinking that just reminds me how they’re not like that at all. How after getting my midterm grades they were furious and loud and at first, and then tried to be calm and understanding... But they couldn’t be really. If I were stupid it’d be one thing. But my test scores prove I'm not - and it’s not that I can’t do the work - when they ride my ass about it I can get it done just fine... But the second they look away I'm failing again.

I’m just... Plain bad.

Might as well own it. Be proud of it. No use sitting around whining about it like that brat from my dream. The only reason I’m even thinking about that right now is because of her anyways.

The high school is right on the edge of town - it’s easy enough to wait till the bell signals for class to sneak out the front gate, keeping cars between me and the windows. They won’t even notice I’m gone – roll is only taken during homeroom and as long as I’m back in time for my folks to pick me up, no one will be the wiser.

Just cross two alleys and catch the bus and the day is mine.

I don’t even have to worry about truancy officers I’ve learned. I look young for my age to start but I put on tread on jeans and a leather coat that is both way too big for me - I stole it from my dad - and obviously been worn enough to be creased to my body and I can possibly be just a baby-faced punk right?  

As long as i look vaguely irritated and look like I know what I'm doing no one bugs me.

Took me a while to figure out the bus system, but now I don’t even have to check to see which bus I'm getting on at the change station. I know which ones park where and which route they’re taking.

The plan is to hit the penny arcade down town – it’d be slow and maybe a couple of rounds of pacman would get rid of this anxious, restless, anger bubbling inside.

I stare out the window bored by the roundabout trip, eyes glazed over until I hear

“What’s that thing doing on the bus?”

“Now Rebecca, this is public transit –”

“– Don’t you ‘now Rebecca’ _me_! Things like _that_ shouldn’t be allowed near decent folk –”

If the monster in question heard the old woman's rude comments he gave no notice –honestly he probably got that a lot. I mean monster human relations weren’t exactly _great_ right now. Not only was there some war no one remembered, humanity as a whole still was baffled that magic and monsters actually existed. Meanwhile monsters still had a huge hate-on for us and weren’t overly inclined to play nice with scientists or the government.

I didn’t personally know any monsters but the jacket looked achingly familiar to me for some reason I couldn’t exactly pinpoint. At the next stop though, he stood and got up to leave and I recognized him. It was that asshole skeleton from my dream! That one that made the other me feel so out of sorts.

He was real and suddenly my anger had a target. 

 

I got off the bus and followed him at a distance somewhere between confused and seething. I just had to follow him. I could always retrace my steps right?  

I tried to pretend to text someone on my phone and act like I knew where I was going. Really I had the little note padapp open and would busily type random shit into it whenever I thought he might be looking my way.

I hadn’t gotten a great look at him yet but if he was the guy from my dream that had to mean something right?

He went into a grocery store so I waited outside.

I didn’t want to bump into him on accident.  I mean what would I even say? Sure I shouldn’t start a fight with a stranger over a dream, but I wanted to. Following him to _prove_ he was up to no good was the next best thing right?

He _did_ come out empty handed, but didn’t look my way, just walked down the block and took a left.

See? Totally up something.

When I rounded the corner he wasn’t there. Didn’t see his coat or anything that even remotely looked like a skeleton. Just an empty alley. Even the dumpster had been cleaned recently.

"looks like we're going to have a great time, huh boss?"

At the sound of the low voice directly behind me, I spun and backed away. _There_ he was, along with a taller skeleton monster. They looked pissed, and more importantly they _didn’t_ look exactly like the ones from my dream.

These looked bigger, meaner, and here I was trapped in an alley with them. No one knew where I was, and this didn’t seem like the part of town where people would come running if I screamed.

Why had I thought this was a good idea?

The shorter one was smiling evilly at me, sockets filled with red. The others sockets were empty and he was scowling down at me, obviously unimpressed. They were very expressive for skeletons, the part of my brain _not_ panicking noted.

‘Boss’ scoffed. "It’s a _child_ Sans, really this is what you dragged me out for? I bet it doesn’t even have any exp."

"ah come on, it’s been tailing me from the bus, surely it’s up to _something_."

Child? It? And they were just standing there discussing me like I was some sort of stray dog?

_Oh hell no._

Instead of doing something smart like keeping my mouth shut, I clench my fists and growl out " _She_ is _sixteen_ and _she_ is right here boneheads!"

The both look a bit surprised, sockets widening a bit, and the shorter one’s grin twitches.

The taller somehow manages to look even bigger and more intimidating though. "Human, you _dare_ speak that way to the Great and Terrible Papyrus?"

I cross my arms so it looks like I'm not terrified. I’d pissed off monsters with a title? Did that make them some kind of royalty? I wouldn’t let that stop me though. I didn’t put up with bullies and even if these two weren’t the ones from my dream, they still obviously qualified as bullies. "Only because you dare to talk like that to – to" I try and think up something equally impressive to call myself "Murphy the Mad!"

Wait that makes me sound crazy. Fuck. Too late now though.

Either he doesn’t notice or he doesn’t care, because he simply glowers down at me. I refuse to back down and match him glare for glare.

Sans interrupts our angry staring match.  “look kid, what do you want? got a bone to pick with me or something?”

Papyrus breaks eye contact first to roll his eyes, and puts his hands on his hips as they both wait for an answer.

One I really didn’t have for them. I mean. They weren’t the skeletons from my dream, they hadn’t actually done anything except call me out for following Sans, and while I was still unreasonably angry I didn’t have a real _reason._

I shrugged and looked away. I _wasn’t_ going to apologize though.

“really? you just come out here to stare at the big bad monsters? maybe collect some dust to prove what a big bad human you are?” He sounded angry now. I hadn’t realized he wasn’t before, but there was a totally shift in his tone that told me he was on a whole other level of pissed I couldn’t hope to meet.

My eyes snapped to him and saw his that his smile no longer had expression, it was just an row of teeth carved into his face, and his sockets were completely empty now. My hands dropped from my arms to be raised protectively. I didn’t know what I’d do if he rushed me. I wanted to take a step back but I didn’t dare. My face went white and I could feel my heart stop and ice flood my veins.

“I would never –” I started stuttering. I take back what I said about not being a kid – sure I might get into fights with people but never serious and he was talking about _murder_. “ – I couldn’t – I was just – it wasn’t anything like that – I – ” Words were stuttering out of my mouth but not in any way that made sense. There were _bones_ , red glowing bones floating behind him and I had an excellent imagination. I was already picturing them raining down and piercing into my flesh and organs, and oh what had I been thinking.

I kept trying to formulate a compete thought but I was so out classed and I knew it. I didn’t move though. I wasn’t sure I could.

“Sans.” Papyrus didn’t even flinch when the void sockets turned to him. Sure his eyes were empty too but it was different somehow I couldn’t even begin to explain. “You’ve made your point. Now stop.” I envied his tone of command and his obvious calm. He didn’t even look like he was going to bother trying to defend himself from Sans if he snapped.

Sans looked back to me and took a step forward, I lifted my chin but otherwise didn’t move. I hadn’t done anything damn it. I wasn’t going to cower in fear from a horrid murderous bully damn it no matter what my pounding heart was screaming at me.

“Sans!” Papyrus snapped. The bones vanished and the red glow was back in his eyes in an instant.

Red trickles of liquid – sweat maybe – made their way down his skull. “But Boss –”

“ – We’ll discuss this at home _brother_. Go. Now.”  The shorter of the two flinched and turned and walked away without even a second look at me.

I stood frozen as a surprisingly disappointed was leveled on me. “I don’t know what you came here for, but I suggest you return home as well.”

With that he marched off after the other.

 

I found myself shaking as I headed back towards the bus stop. God what had I been thinking? I was so out classed it wasn’t even funny. I knew monsters had magic, but I’d never seen it in person like that. I thought my heart was going to burst out of my chest. I felt very small as I wandered back the way I came. I’d been in a couple of fights at school, but they’d never been serious. And no matter how angry I or the other person had been, it had never felt like that.

I’d never been more scared than angry.

“Hey!” The shout had me jerking my head out _of_ my thoughts. Across the road from the bus stop was a man. I didn’t know him, but I was still pretty shaken from the alley.

“Um hi?” I said back cautiously.

“Come here for a moment.” No. No way.

I shook my head and gestured to the bus sign. “No I’m waiting on the bus.”

He gestured for me to come over but I shook my head.

“Come here!” He yelled and I yelled right back, all the fear and anger balled up in my gut.

“NO! I don’t fucking know you!”

He started cursing calling me a dumb bitch and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go over there and sock him one or if I wanted to be sick.

I stood there listening to him yelling and calling my terrible things with my fists clenched at my sides and my face turning red…

I wasn’t going to cry.

I _wasn’t_.

 

A hand on my shoulder made me jump and turn, fist already swinging. I missed by a long shot – a spine isn’t all that big of a target – but Papyrus didn’t seem to even notice. He was glaring across the street at the man who abruptly shut up and scurried back to whatever hole he’d crawled out of.

“This is not the safest place to look weak. I will wait with you until the bus comes.” I wasn’t sure if I should feel relieved or insulted.

Jerking way I glared at him. “Were you following me?”

He stared at me until I looked away, sheepish. “Yeah okay I guess I was being a creep. But I’m not weak!” I sure felt like it right then though.

“Perhaps. That remains to be seen.” Not the most comforting thing to hear.

I decided to wash my hands of monsters in general, and skeletons in particular. When the bus finally pulled up I got on without saying goodbye, or even thank you.

So what if he'd probably saved me twice? He'd also made me look like a weak, incompetent, fool.

I wasn't.

 

Fitting I'd end the day the way I started it - mad at myself for crying over nothing.


	8. Swapfell Chapter 1

I woke to my alarm going off, got up, and got ready for the day.

Got dressed in slacks and a button down – had school today, couldn't look less than my best.

My things were already packed and waiting for me, in no time at all I had grabbed my lunch, bag, and daily ensure and was out the door to wait for my aunt in the car.

While waiting I went over my painstakingly kept agenda, making sure I was not only ready for today but ahead by at least a week in all my classes. 

She was already on the phone when she stepped out of the house. For once she wrapped up the before work business and we made polite small talk about what was happening in my classes that day. We parked, she watched me chug down my ensure, and I was finally free.

Well. For certain values of freedom.

The college was a small private institution university. My aunt had gone here years ago, and as she liked to remind me the only reason I had gotten in was because of her.

Before her I had been a mess.

In looks, in dedication to school, in everything. But she had me straightened out now. Said part of my problem was that I wasn’t feeling challenged enough. She had me study the way she wanted and had me graduate two years early, only to get me enrolled on college. I also had a part time job she’d gotten me through a friend of hers.

She wanted the best for me. It was wrong of me to resent her for it.

I still did though.

 

I dumped my lunch in the trash on the way to the library. My first class had actually been canceled by the teacher - I had gotten the email last night and neglected to tell my aunt that so I could spend at least some time in the library alone.

I didn’t check out any books, my home hours were pretty strictly set up to make sure I was on track with my school work, but at during my free time on campus I could peruse the best sellers on display. Most weren’t the sort of thing I'd normally choose but any port in a storm. Reading nothing but school books was slowly killing me.

It was why I was losing weight I was betting.

Not because I was sick or growing or any of that nonsense.

My aunt had my blood work tested and insisted nothing was wrong with me. I just needed to eat right or something. Get my weight back up to where it should be - but not to how much it had been before I moved in with her - hence the ensure to supplement my diet. I was also supposed to be taking vitamins.

I didn’t bother with those though. Like I said it wasn’t a health issue. I was just… Not hungry. Ever. Nothing like having your entire life controlled to make you lose your appetite.

The library was pretty empty this early except with a handful of student who had something to prove. I didn’t have anything to prove. I was sixteen and in college. I wasn’t even particularly smart. I just had had the last four years of my life completely under the thumb of my aunt, which meant I’d been applying myself and doing nothing but school work since then.

It was easier to comply and just steal what moments of free time I could around her.

So here I was.

In a place I didn’t want to be, reading a book I wasn’t interested in, trying to forget a dream I shouldn’t have had.

Focusing on dreams might be a great form of escapism, but reality always came knocking. I’d learned the hard way years ago that an active denial of reality just led to more trouble than it was worth.

The book was some murder mystery, but I didn’t really care and couldn’t focus on it.

It was almost a relief when someone interrupted my reading.

“Human, you wouldn’t perchance be in Professor Henderson’s 3 pm precalc class would you?” I looked up to see two skeletons standing at the end of the table I was sitting at. Monsters weren’t an uncommon sight here, _everyone_ needed a higher education to get a living wage job anymore, but it was weird for my classmates to approach me.

The taller one was in my precalc class actually – but it was the shorter one who spoke.

“Yes I am? Did you need help with something?” The smaller one grabbed the taller one’s arm – Papyrus I think his name was – and practically shoved him into the chair across from me.

“My idiot brother has been sleeping through his classes and requires assistance to catch up and pass.” He slid into the chair beside his brother and pulled out books of his own, while Papyrus reluctantly dropped his bag on the table.

Seriously? “Have you gone to the math lab? I’m sure they’re more qualified to help you.” Papyrus grinned at me. He knew that I knew that it didn’t matter he was sleeping in class – he currently had the highest grade. Plus even if he had to struggle and fight for every A he got in math like I did, the school had resources to help him, and they should be utilizing them not talking to me.

The shorter one pulled out a precalc book, solidifying my suspicion that this had nothing to do with Papyrus – though if he was doing so well, why didn’t he just help his brother? – and leveled a hard stare at me. “The tutors are busy right now, and the test is today. You would not let a classmate fail just because he is a monster, now would you?”

This wasn’t about him being a monster, but I was never good at saying no to people. If I gave him what he wanted, maybe he would go away.

“No, of course not. Please excuse me I have just the thing to help you – ”  The soft shake of Papyrus’ head had me correcting myself. “Your brother.”

Grabbing my precalc binder I headed up to the front and photo copied the relevant notes and worksheets I’d completed to prepare for the test. It included memory rhymes my aunt made me come up with as a learning tool, and her red pen corrections in places my work wasn’t perfect.

I passed over the copies, keeping them in between the two as I used my pen to point out how things were organized. My hand writing was ugly, but my aunt had made me do lines when I first moved in with her so at least it was readable. “That should help; I don’t particularly like math so I had to break it down into easier chunks than the book does.”

Even Papyrus leaned forward like he was interested. “human you take notes like this in all your classes?”

My aunt would settle for nothing less. I even had a recorder so I could review the lectures and transcribe them word for word.

At his expectant expression I pulled out the rest of my binders and let him flip through them.

“Impressive, for a human.” The shorter skeleton finally pronounced. 

I couldn’t tell if I was more upset that he was praising me for study habits that I honestly didn’t want to have, or that he kept calling me by my species. The first was my own problem but the second I could do something about.

"I'm sorry, I know Papyrus from class but I don't think we've met. My name is Murphy Dawe." I hated how stiff and formal I sounded but the skeleton’s eyes lit up.

"Ah yes of course, you may refer to me as Lord Sans. Your conduct and your work are most pleasing and you may have the honor of being my personal study partner."

Papyrus looked as if Christmas had come early, beaming at the two of us while I tried to wrap my head around what he just said.

"beg pardon?"

"No need Hum- Dawe you will be a quite satisfactory resource I'm sure." He said dismissively, reading through my notes.

The alarm on my phone went off, reminding me I only had ten minutes to get to my history class, and I packed my stuff away and made my escape.

No way was I going to let someone - monster or not - trick me into doing their work for them. I thought that sort of thing only happened in high school movies?

The dream I had flashed through my mind and even if it was some weird future sight, it’d gotten all the details wrong. Sans was not looking for a friend he was looking for a lackey, and while Papyrus had been in one of my classes this whole time, we'd never spoken before.

Hell I didn’t even _want_ friends, I just wanted to be left alone, get my bachelors of science, and be legally free to escape my aunt’s control. I didn’t need another domineering personality in my life.

 

Lunch found me back in the library, this time reading a magazine.

It had an article on human monster relations but nothing I read talked about a monster hierarchy beyond that of the queen and her child. Instead it focused on topics like souls and magic and the controversy over the human heir’s adoption by monsters.

Hands cut off my vision and a voice purred in my ear "guess who~" before I could do more than squeak, Lord Sans' voice cut across the library like a whip.

"Papyrus, stop that foolishness at once! This is a place of study, behave yourself!"

The hands left my face and I turned to see it was indeed Papyrus. How he was pouting being a skeleton and all was beyond me though.

“sorry m’lord, was excited to see our new friend.” Shouldn’t Papyrus _also_ be a lord if Sans was his brother?

“Study partner.” He corrected as he marched over to the table I was sitting at. “As if someone of my standing would lower themselves to be friends with a mere human.” Was he really going to say something so horrible when I was sitting _right_ here?

I dropped the magazine on the table and started packing my things. I didn’t have time for this anyways. I didn’t need to sit here and listen to this. I should be reviewing the material for my next class.

“Dawe, where are you do you think you’re going? We have studying to do.” I wanted to cringe at the demanding tone. I didn’t belong to this guy though, and I didn’t want to let him walk all over me.

Slinging my bag onto my shoulders I shrugged. “You’re right we’re _not_ friends, but we’re also _not_ study partners. Partner denotes an equal relationship and seeing as my notes are perfect I have nothing to gain by studying with you.”

I power walk out of there before he could – figuratively – pick his jaw up off of the floor. I felt sick. I am not strong willed. I always cave to pressure. I say and do all the right things, exactly as I'm told. I can’t believe I just did that.

Maybe they’ll leave me alone now though? I mean there’s a whole weekend between now and the next time I’ll be on campus, and other than precalc our schedules didn’t intersect. I could only hope they forgot about me entirely between now and then. 

 

They didn’t, of course, forget about me. In fact they found me at work the very next day.

 

On the weekends I worked at an animal shelter as a kennel attendant. It’s easy, mindless cleaning surrounded by cute animals. I’m not allowed a pet – I never have been thanks to my family’s allergies – but this is almost better in a way. There was more to clean, but I still get to feed and love on all sorts of cats, dogs, and occasionally get to see exotics.

Also, when a group comes in and wants to interact with an animal out of a cage, I’m the one that gets to pull them out and watch over them to make sure everyone behaves. Sure my aunt had used her friend to get me a job, but I _keep_ my job through hard work and enjoyment. It isn’t perfect, but it’s definitely the place I felt most free.

 

My first thought when I saw the skeleton wandering through the cat room was how did he find me. It only took a second to see how eagerly ‘Lord’ Sans was looking at the cats, poking his fingers through the bars and cooing at them, to see that his being here was just a coincidence. Backing out of the room, I manage to get away without being noticed. 

I decide to make myself busy in the very back of the dog kennels. There was a large pitbull that had been dropped off by a woman who said her son’s dog was too aggressive. While she was pretty angry and growly when she was first brought in, she had calmed down into a real sweetheart. I stuck my hand through the bars without fear and she let me love on her with much tail wagging and doggy kisses. It was a happy place, and I didn’t think that Sans would leave the cat room with how enamored he’d been with them.

I had forgotten about Papyrus.

“human?” The soft question caused me to flinch. The pitbull was not any happier to see him than I was. It was an instant transformation from giant lap dog, to scared and angry thing made of teeth. She backed away from him, growling with her head lowered and I slowly pulled my arm out of the cage.

Papyrus leaned his head against the bars and growled back at the dog, and to my surprise she cuddled in the corner of her cage away from him, not looking at us. He looked away from her and down at where I was still crouched down, and I found myself slowly backing away and standing.

It wasn’t a conscious decision, I was just afraid. I couldn’t even tell you why, his smile was as wide and pleased as it had been every other time I’d interacted with him. “It’s Murphy. Murphy Dawe.” I corrected, trying to pretend I wasn’t backing away into the corner of the room like the pitbull had.

“human,” He repeated as if I hadn’t spoken. “you like dogs?”

I nodded nervously. “and cats.”

“do you have any pets?” I could do this. I stopped trying to sink into the wall behind me. Polite conversation was part of the job.

“No. Never had any, working here is as close as I can get for now.”  He leaned against the cage and I can’t help but notice he’s between me and the rest of the shelter. I know I’m being paranoid but… the pitbull hasn’t stopped cowering. Animals are often much better judges of character than people, right?

“which would you say is happier? a stray animal, or one kept as a pet?” It was an odd question, but monsters hadn’t been up on the surface very long so maybe they didn’t have many animals down there?

“Well it depends on the animal in question, but domesticated animals have a longer life span and often have a better quality of life when treated well by their owners, while stray pets often become aggressive and are more likely to suffer since they’re not really set up to live on their own anymore.” This seemed more like a conversation for one of the vet techs who’d actually been to school to understand animals, but before I could suggest that he had moved closer to loom over me.

“then why don’t you want to be m’lord’s pet?” The words were bad enough, but there was an undertone of threat. Like maybe _I_ would be more likely to suffer if I didn’t give into them.

That was a horrifying thought. “You idiot, we’ve been over this – humans are not animals. They’re as sentient as monsters.”

I was actually relived to see Sans approaching us. Papyrus backed off, and oddly enough I felt safer now that both of them were there than I had with just the one. “but m’lord it’d solve everything. we could keep and care for her, and she could study with us.”

“I – I don’t _want_ to be kept!” My voice was less outraged than I wanted – I actually sounded small and helpless – but I said it which was more protest than I’d given over anything in the last four years.

Sans fixed his eyes on me, took in how I was hunched as physically possible away from Papyrus, and with a flick of his wrist ordered his brother away.

He wandered off, hopefully not to go terrify any of the other dogs in the kennels.

“Dawe I have been thinking about your protests over our being partners and I must say I quite agree. We aren’t equals.” I blinked. That was surprisingly reasonable. “I don’t _have_ any equals.”

Before I could argue the point or leave in a huff again he continued. “That being said… perhaps I could be persuaded to lower my extremely high standards and befriend you.”

“Even,” I choked out, voice tight with anger, “even if you and your brother weren’t complete and utter jerks, I _wouldn’t_ want to be friends with you.” Suddenly I was advancing on him until I was looming over Sans in the same way his brother had been doing to me just moments before. “I don’t have _time_ for friends, I don’t have hobbies or interests, I just go to school and I study. Everything has to be perfect, I have to be perfect. I don’t have time for _any_ of this, so go find someone else to go play your weird power games with!” I was practically yelling in his face by the end of it, and I stomped away to go find something, _anything_ productive to do.

I didn’t need this, I didn’t need them, I didn’t need anything.

My vision went blurry and I swiped angrily at my face only to realize I was crying.


End file.
